You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
