brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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