tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
