Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
