I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
