I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
