Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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