I don't remember. Are we still dating?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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