What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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