I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I love you.
Bad choice
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
