i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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