I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize