she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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