Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I got inside last night via doggy door
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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