Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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