you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
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