he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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