take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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