no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
