Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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