i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
