Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize