C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
