Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I don't think brook has ever known best
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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