Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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