If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize