Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize