Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize