You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
