It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
