I'm really into asian looking animals
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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