woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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