what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
