She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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