Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
