I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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