I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
No subtext here. People are naked.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
whose parrot is this?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
