I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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