Don't you send me to vm
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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