I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
