people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
farters have to be the big spoon...
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
