Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize