I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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