Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
