Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
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