She said her name was "party"
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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