Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
