after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize