I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize
