if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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