Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Randomize
