the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
