Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
tonight lets celebrate not being married
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
