Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
