i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
