Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
