FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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